The only abnormality is the incapacity to love
by drarryisgreen
Summary: Harry is 19 years old. He's living in a Muggle flat and Ginny's left him. He's depressed and unsure of himself. He's moving from job to job, he wants to study at a University but can't seem to motivate himself. He's joined a volunteer program and meets a familiar face. Rated M for some strong sexual context. / Title of the story is inspired by Anais Nin.


**Disclaimer: I do not claim any sort of authority over the characters. They are all properties of J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter Universe**

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**The Only Abnormality is the Incapacity to Love**

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Harry was depressed. He was stuck at a job with no future. Soon after Hogwarts was over, the war was over; Harry had decided to enrol in a Muggle university. He wanted to travel, his friends called it running away, he excused it as running towards an unknown, better future. He didn't have anything left for him 'back home.' He had Number 12, Grimmauld Place whenever he felt like returning, it was his back up but for most of the time he lived in a tiny Muggle flat that wasn't even big enough for an overnight guest. Harry liked it that way.

Getting the flat was his first step towards breaking up with Ginny. She had gotten the hint loud and clear. She slapped him across his face, and stormed out. A few days later he received an owl that simply stated, _I understand, I just wish you were man enough to tell it to me to my face and not drop passive aggressive hints. I was leaving anyway; you knew I was going to join the 'Pride of Portree.' It wouldn't have lasted long at any rate. This just hurts more because this shows me that I wasn't enough worth a common courtesy. I would say take care, but honestly, I don't even care what happens to you._

Harry was relieved to read Ginny's letter, even if it was full of hate. That's what he needed. He needed everyone to hate him and leave him alone. It wasn't time for him to tell her why he wasn't interested in her anymore. He wasn't interested in women. He was with her because they had been together so much but he never looked at any other women ever either. He however, did look at blokes a lot, unusually a lot.

Two days after Ginny had left Harry sat at a pub around the corner from his flat. They all knew him by now, but they didn't know his name. He was just the sad bloke that came in every other night and drank pints after pints and tipped well. This time he was different though. He tried to make small talk with the bartender and the patrons that sat next to him. He eventually was approached by a man in his thirties who bought him his last pint and asked to see his flat. Harry knew what it was, he knew what was going to happen and for the first time Harry didn't think too much about it.

They entered his flat and the man remarked, "Wow, it is tiny."

Harry didn't remark on the man's comment and replied, "The bedroom's this way."

The two men entered Harry's bedroom and Harry stood there awkwardly for a minute.

"You've never done this before," the man commented, not really a question since he was sure he knew the answer.

Harry shook his head.

"Don't worry; I'll take care of you." The man took off Harry's shirt and began to kiss his chest in a vertical motion down to Harry's trousers. He then unbuttoned the trousers and grabbed onto Harry's cock.

He told Harry to relax and moved his head up and down on Harry's cock, working it with his tongue. Harry placed his hands into the man's dark brown hair and helped with the pace, moving the man's scalp in time with his motions. The man paused and looked at Harry straight in the eyes before forcing himself all the way down on him, not stopping until the tip of Harry's cock was brushing the back of his throat. Harry felt his balls tightening as his throat shuddered in an attempt to stay relaxed; it didn't happen, it only rushed up the process - he was going to come any second now.

After Harry came the man turned Harry around and pushed him onto the bed. Harry felt something warm on his passageway, he then heard the man opening a package, and he figured it was one of those Muggle condoms. They don't exactly have protection spells to abstain from diseases, Harry thought. Harry at first felt the man's fingers enter him one by one and massage his passageway until it wasn't hurting anymore. The man then spread Harry's legs more and began to enter him. Harry moaned, more in pain than in pleasure. It was over fairly quickly and there was nothing pleasant about it. Harry was glad it had happened though. He figured the next time, maybe it'll hurt less.

After it was all over, the man rose and began to get dressed. Harry was glad that the man didn't indicate any desire to stay. Harry stood up and put on his shorts. He began to speak. "Do you need anything? Water or anything?"

The man smiled and shook his head. "Well I'll be seeing you." He left the bedroom door and progressed towards the door of the flat, he turned around and looked at Harry one last time and said, "I am Jack by the way," and left.

This went on for months; either Harry brought someone over to fuck him or went to someone's house to fuck them. He was getting good at it, it was hurting less and less and he was enjoying the sensation more and more.

Even though the nights consisted of hot sex and cold beers, the days still had their drawbacks. Harry was still depressed, still unable to concentrate at his job, still unhappy and bothered. He switched occupations 4 times in a year. He would sometimes take a week off to visit his friends but return 3 days later claiming he had to work even though he didn't have a steady job.

Money wasn't a concern, he had enough inheritance to last him a life time. He just wanted to work for daily living and for him to have a purpose. He knew he was acting like a spoiled prat, but he couldn't help himself. He eventually began to volunteer at a Muggle nursing home every Sunday, to either help with dinner distribution or read to the elderly. This became the best part of his week because it forced him to become a bit responsible. These people were depending on him so he couldn't go goofing off the night before. He was becoming responsible.

The ladies at the elderly clinic were fond of Harry. They thought he was extremely polite and humble. They asked him to help with a volunteer picnic that was happening in two weeks' time. Harry agreed. He didn't know much of the other volunteers so he looked forward to meeting them.

On the day of the picnic Harry arrived at the park earlier than everyone else. He spread the sheets on the grass and planted the sign next to them that read "East Grove Clinic Volunteer Picnic." Slowly people started to trickle towards the sign and sat in a circle; they brought sandwiches and juice and all sorts of goodies to share with one another. Harry eventually grew tired of introducing himself to someone new every five to ten minutes. There were twenty people there total so far. Everyone was busy in their own conversations when Harry saw a man approaching the group. He was dressed in a dark green button-down shirt that was open with a black t shirt underneath, with dark blue jeans, and matching dark green Converse. The man had short but messy white blond hair and a pale complexion. Harry stopped breathing for a second. He realized who was approaching him. He stood up from the crowd, facing the man; he was unsure why he stood up. They weren't at Hogwarts, why did he felt like he was about to go into battle?

"Drake! You made it," a woman shouted from the group. She stood up as soon as she saw the blond man and ran to give him a hug. She then turned to Harry. "Harry, this is Drake; he's another young volunteer just like you, except he comes in on Mondays."

Draco Malfoy looked at Harry, unsure of how to respond to this surprise himself, nodded and spoke. "Potter."

Harry, experiencing a similar reaction as Draco, nodded back. "Hey, Drack, it's been… a while."

The woman still standing next to Draco excitedly spoke again. "Oh you two know each other?"

Harry nodded but Draco spoke. "Yes, we used to be classmates, in what seems like a different lifetime ago."

"Indeed," Harry replied.

The rest of the evening was a bit awkward and Harry was relieved that Draco didn't sit next to him in the group. He avoided looking at Draco for most of the afternoon and joined in on conversations to the people on his right. After a few hours, some of the volunteers began to leave and Draco left with them. Since it was a sunny day Harry was wearing his sunglasses and he was relieved that no one could see the look in his eyes. He waved goodbye to the group that was leaving including Draco and returned back to his conversation with his other associates.

"Oh no someone's left their umbrella," a woman exclaimed.

"I think that's Drake's," Harry spoke up and almost cursed himself after for having known that.

The woman responded, "Oh, okay, do you want to take it then? Since he's your friend, I can send him a text later saying that it's with you and he can stop by your flat or something?"

Harry wanted to say no, but he didn't have a reason to so he just nodded. "Okay, sure. Do you need my address?"

"No, I have everyone's address. I am the volunteer coordinator remember?" The woman laughed.

Harry said his goodbyes to the group, and packed up his items and left with Draco's umbrella.

Later that evening Harry heard a knock on his door. He opened the door to find Draco Malfoy standing there, dressed in different clothes this time. Harry invited Draco into his flat and asked him to have a seat. Harry figured it was at least polite to offer the man a drink. Draco took him up on his offer. They sat on Harry's couch in his tiny flat for hours talking and drinking, until Harry ran out.

"Well I should be going then, I will take that as a sign," Draco commented.

"Alright, it's pretty late, you can stay here if you wish," Harry responded. He wasn't sure why he offered Draco to stay; he's never offered anyone to stay over.

The sound of thunder was getting louder in the background.

"I don't think you have space for me, Potter," Draco laughed.

Then there was lightning and they heard a scream from outside.

"It's getting really bad out there, Draco, I am not sure it'll be safe for you to leave now." Harry continued, "Yeah I know there's not much space here but it might be better if you stayed, I don't want to get killed by Linda for sending her favourite volunteer in harm's way at midnight in a thunderstorm."

"Okay, where do I sleep?"

"Well, I've got a small bed. If you want to stay there and I can sleep on the floor, I've got plenty of blankets," Harry said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Potter; I am not going to let you sleep on the floor while I sleep on your bed. I am sure we can both share it."

"It's pretty small." Harry gestured for Draco to come with him towards his bedroom.

"Well, that it is." Draco laughed.

Harry reached into his cupboard and pulled out a t shirt and a pair of trousers; he offered them to Draco. "If you want to change, feel free."

Draco nodded a thank you to Harry and started to undress. Harry got a bit flustered to see Draco undressing himself and left the room. He returned a few minutes later, having changed clothes himself as well. Draco was already lying in his bed on his side. Harry lay down next to Draco with his back towards Draco and pulled the sheet over them.

"Harry?" Draco whispered.

"Yeah?" Harry responded.

"Thanks." Draco put his arm on Harry and pulled himself close to him. The boys fell asleep spooning.

Harry woke up in the morning having forgotten for almost a second what had happened last night. He felt Draco's arm around him and was confused, then it all came rushing back to him. Draco was very close to Harry's body and he could feel Draco's breath on the back of his neck. It was very soothing, Harry thought. He didn't want to fidget to wake Draco up but Harry noticed that he was getting hard. Draco, still asleep, pulled himself a bit closer to Harry, leaving no room in between the two bodies. Draco must have realized he was feeling another man's body as he too woke up shortly after. Draco kissed the back of Harry's neck gently. He squeezed Harry into his body tightly as he placed another kiss on the back of Harry's neck.

Harry responded well to this action and pushed back into Draco's pelvis. He realized Draco was hard also. The two men lay in Harry's bed grinding and moaning for a minute until Draco pushed Harry down and got on top of him. He began to ride Harry hard. Harry moaned. Draco started to lift up Harry's shirt and dropped small kisses down his spine. Harry's moans were getting louder. Draco spread Harry's legs and started to trace his fingers from the small of his back down to his passageway; he was about to remove Harry's pants with his teeth when the alarm rang.

Harry, startled, looked up. "What happened? What's that?"

"Oh shit, it's my alarm, I've got a shift at the clinic, and I am going to be late." Draco sprang up from Harry's bed and started to undress himself of Harry's clothes and put his clothes from last night on.

"Oh," Harry said disappointingly.

"I am really sorry, but I've really got to run. I am always running late," Draco said to Harry while hopping on one foot and putting on a shoe on the other.

Harry got up off the bed as well and responded, "It's alright, I understand." He smiled.

Draco finished getting dressed as Harry watched him. Draco subsequently walked up to Harry and pulled him into a deep kiss. Their tongues didn't struggle and responded to the other's as old friends meeting. They kissed for a minute until Draco released Harry to get some air.

"I'd like to come back here tonight, if that's alright with you?" Draco asked.

"Yes, yes… that's um… quite alright with me." Harry stumbled on his words.

Draco grinned, he kissed Harry's cheek and left.

Harry stood in the middle of his tiny bedroom, in his tiny flat, stunned. Unable to comprehend for a few minutes what had just happened. He then turned around and looked at his messy bedroom. He decided that perhaps it was time to make his flat a bit more habitable for two people.

The End

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**(A/N): Thanks for reading, please write a review - it has a sequel called _Do Not Seek The Because._ I hope enjoyed the story.**


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